Автор Тема: Military Humour  (Прочитано 67701 раз)

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #247 : 06 марта 2019, 10:00:02 »
One Squadron-Leader who had just been promoted to Group-Captain was bursting with pride at his upgrading. He was sitting in his new office when there came a knock on the door.

"Come in!' he called, and as the door opened he picked his phone and said, "Very well, Marshal, Thank you, Marshal. Good-bye."

He put down the receiver and said to the soldier who had just entered, "Well, what is it?"

"I've just come to re-connect your phone, sir."

Оффлайн Ann

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #246 : 06 марта 2019, 01:56:26 »
     
In a Military Hospital

     "My dear doctor, I suffer much with my eyes!"
     "Be patient, colonel, you would probably suffer more without them."
     
 

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #245 : 25 января 2019, 00:12:39 »
Army Chef

A fat army chef said to an exessively thin soldier.

"Looking at you, you blinking skeleton, anyone would think there had been a famine here!"

"Yes, and one look at you would tell them who caused it," replied the soldier.

Оффлайн DAS

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #244 : 25 января 2019, 00:01:25 »
Ann, the texts we were talking about are in the news branch.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #243 : 23 января 2019, 00:48:56 »
     Then show some initiative and ask me, DAS.

    I look forward to talking to you face-to-face whenever it is convenient.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #242 : 23 января 2019, 00:44:51 »
As soon as I know more about the event, I will be able to make up my mind.

     Then show some initiative and ask me, DAS.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #241 : 23 января 2019, 00:34:08 »

How long time, DAS, am I supposed to wait for your answer?

 

As soon as I know more about the event, I will be able to make up my mind.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #240 : 23 января 2019, 00:12:18 »
     If so, think of a part you could play during our Love Day.

How long time, DAS, am I supposed to wait for your answer?

 

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #239 : 18 января 2019, 00:34:14 »

     Now I don't have it. And I can't speak for other people.

     If so, think of a part you could play during our Love Day.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #238 : 06 января 2019, 12:34:55 »
     And now?
     By the way, looking at the parents of our pupils during our meetings and performances I'm coming to the conclusion that many grown up people do have it.
   


     Now I don't have it. And I can't speak for other people.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #237 : 05 января 2019, 23:25:07 »
I used to have stage fright in my adolescence.

     And now?
     By the way, looking at the parents of our pupils during our meetings and performances I'm coming to the conclusion that many grown up people do have it.
   

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #236 : 05 января 2019, 13:06:20 »
Six Hours

"It took me six hours to reach the ground after I left the plane," a parachutist boasted.

"My! What altitude did you jump at?"

"Why, 6,000 feet. But my chute got caught in a tree and I was hanging there for six hours until rescued."

Оффлайн Ann

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #235 : 09 декабря 2018, 00:34:42 »
Justified Delay

     The telephone rang in the company commander's office.
     "Sir, this is Sergeant Evans reporting. There has been a big fight going on in the bar across the street between our lads and the marines for about two hours."
     "For two hours and you are reporting it only now?"
     "Yes, sir, but at first our men were winning."
 

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #234 : 28 ноября 2018, 10:03:27 »
Only Then

Two young American boys were discussing the problem of their imminent draft.

"May be we better volunteer before they take us all the same," suggested one.

"Let's toss the coin, if it stands on its edge, then we'll volunteer."

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #233 : 26 ноября 2018, 23:28:44 »
The Moment of Alarm

Two crows were flying along slowly minding their own business enjoying the scenery, when all of a sudden out of the blue an F/A-18E/F Super Hornet goes screaming past, barely missing the now somersaulting, and wildly flapping crows.
"Oh my God!" exclaims one crow in surprise. "He was sure moving!"
The other crow replies: "I reckon you would be too if you had two backsides and both of them were alight!"

     It reminds me of the absurd theatre which I used to read about when I was working on my thesis.

 
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