Тексты из пособия по социальной психологии "What Every Kid Should Know"
FEAR
Fear is worrying about being hurt or losing something important. You can fear being hurt physically or you can be afraid of flagging a test. The kid who's unprepared in school, might be nervous that the teacher will call on him and he’ll be shown up
. Fear has an important purpose, it prepares you for possible danger by causing your body to release chemicals that make you alert and ready to defend yourself. Try to find out what you are afraid of. Unknown fears are the worst, because you don’t know what to do to protect yourself
. Do something about your fears if you can. If you fear losing your bicycle, be sure you lock it
up. If you're worried about your pet being hit by car, tie him up. Most fears like the fear of dogs can be overcome. Instead of avoiding dogs, remember, that all dogs do not bite and that most dogs can be friendly. Try to become friendly with your friend's dog, let your friend show you how.
Take a new look at other fears, you may be surprised to find that you have outgrown them. You begin to conquer fear by admitting to yourself that you are afraid. That's a sign of strength. Decide what it is you’re afraid of and what you think you might lose. Then take steps to prepare yourself, so you don't lose it, also you become more familiar with what you fear.
ANGER
Everybody feels angry some of the time. People usually get angry, because they have been hurt. How angry you feel, depends upon how hurt you've been. You have to let your hurt out. If you keep your hurt feelings inside, anger will build up. You can expect to be angry at someone, who criticizes you in front of others. At a friend who no longer wants to be your friend. At your parent who punishes you if you believe you don’t deserve it. In other words, you get angry at anyone who hurts you. Anger comes from hurt, and hurt, you remember, comes from losing something. It is best to express your angry feelings. Unexpressed anger can occupy all your thoughts, and cause you to be angry in the wrong place. You have to deal with your anger and the hurt feelings. It may not be easy to tell a friend that he hurt you, but it is better to do that than to hold in angry feelings about your friend and maybe ruin your friendship.
ENVY
A feeling of envy is a wish to have what another person has, or to be like that other person. If you're envious you're unhappy with yourself. You do not need to express feelings of envy. Just understand them and do something about the shortcomings you see in yourself. For instance: if you're envious of someone’s good grades, study harder to improve your own grades. If you examine the cause of your envy, you may find that you do not really want what the other person has. What you really want is to do better yourself.
JEALOUSY
Jealousy is a wish that someone had good feelings about you, instead of about someone else. Feelings of jealousy almost always come from feeling insecure about yourself and believing that other people are better than you are. Jealous feelings come when you like someone, who likes someone else even better. Jealousy is painful and destructive, and causes hurt and anger to everyone involved. To overcome jealousy you have to learn to like yourself better. Then you can accept the idea that everyone is free to like and love whomever they choose. Just because somebody likes someone else more
than he likes you, that does not mean that you are unlikeable or that none will ever like you best.
YOUR HAVE A RIGHT TO YOUR OWN OPINION
Even though others may not agree with you, you have a right to your own opinion. None can tell you what to think. Whether you express your opinion or not is another matter. In a family meeting when vacations are being discussed or in a school debate everybody expects you to express your opinion, but if you think, your parents are old fashioned, making a big point of it in a loud voice in the middle of a restaurant is not a good idea. That's not free speech, it's trying to embarrass someone. Where, when and how to express your opinion is a matter of judgement. A good rule is to avoid hurting other people's feelings. If you avoid hurting people, you can usually express your opinion freely.