Автор Тема: Military Humour  (Прочитано 67683 раз)

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Оффлайн asdfg

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #292 : 18 мая 2022, 11:15:33 »
Escape

      A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun replied, "He went that way."
      After the Military Police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Vietnam." The nun said, "I understand completely." The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don't want to go to Vietnam either."
we all have secrets...

Оффлайн Ann

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #291 : 18 мая 2022, 00:02:52 »
Let’s Play a Game

     Two Army second lieutenants started debating over certain distances. One started by saying, “Okay smartass, which one is closer, the moon or Florida?” The second responded by saying, “Obviously it’s the moon — you can’t see Florida!”

Оффлайн DAS

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #290 : 10 октября 2021, 21:00:21 »
No Wonder

Two soldiers were having a break  in the shade of a tree when one of them suddenly remarked:

"John, look there is an elephant flying over there with long blue and red feather wings!"

"So what's the fuss?" answered the second soldier . "Their airfield must be somewhere nearby."

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #289 : 06 октября 2021, 21:47:36 »
     And what do we enjoy, if anything?

This is purely individual, I guess. However, if you ask me I enjoy a variety in everything and don't like monotonous and routine activities.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #288 : 03 мая 2021, 00:16:03 »
I do agree. It's better to ask women. But I can assume, that people these days are satiated with a variety of choices, so the majority no longer know how to enjoy simple things. Which is rather sad.

     And what do we enjoy, if anything?

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #287 : 28 апреля 2021, 12:28:04 »
Now Evident

A soldier on leave swallowed his watch when drunk and was rushed to the doctor who fluoroscoped him and showed him the x-ray photograph. The soldier cried out: "My God! I'm 15 minutes late to the barracks."

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #286 : 28 апреля 2021, 12:11:20 »
     I am coming to the conclusion that the smaller choice we, human beings, have the happier we are. I remember the time when very small things used to make women happy - a new dress, a bottle of French perfume... Ask a woman about her attitude  to the choice she has. What makes her happy?

I do agree. It's better to ask women. But I can assume, that people these days are satiated with a variety of choices, so the majority no longer know how to enjoy simple things. Which is rather sad.

Оффлайн Ann

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #285 : 17 апреля 2021, 14:45:32 »
Two Choices

An Army Volunteer sat down to his first meal in the mess. He surveyed his plate and asked the mess sergeant if he had any other choice.

"Yeah," was the reply. "You either take it or leave it!"

     I am coming to the conclusion that the smaller choice we, human beings, have the happier we are. I remember the time when very small things used to make women happy - a new dress, a bottle of French perfume... Ask a woman about her attitude  to the choice she has. What makes her happy?

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #284 : 11 апреля 2021, 23:04:32 »
Two Choices

An Army Volunteer sat down to his first meal in the mess. He surveyed his plate and asked the mess sergeant if he had any other choice.

"Yeah," was the reply. "You either take it or leave it!"

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #283 : 07 апреля 2021, 15:46:15 »
Secret Information

     Two servicemen were visiting a theater show and were lively discussing some matters without looking at the stage. A lady behind them touched one's shoulder ."Young man, I can't hear a word', she said.
     "You are not supposed to, lady", explained the G.I. "We're  talking over some military classified R&D (research and development) problems".

Some of the military servicemen I used to know had a unique ability of demonstrating similar degree of shamelessness.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #282 : 06 апреля 2021, 21:18:10 »
Secret Information

     Two servicemen were visiting a theater show and were lively discussing some matters without looking at the stage. A lady behind them touched one's shoulder ."Young man, I can't hear a word', she said.
     "You are not supposed to, lady", explained the G.I. "We're  talking over some military classified R&D (research and development) problems".

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #281 : 04 апреля 2021, 13:00:24 »
Waste of Time

Junior has come on leave after some time in the army.

"Well, son, how do you like the army?" asked his dad.

"It isn't that bad. However, there is too much fussing and drilling between the meals."

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #280 : 28 марта 2020, 14:05:37 »
BETTER MATERIAL

     The commander was asked: "Why do you prefer married soldiers in your unit?"
"Well, the married men are used to take orders even if they are yelled at them."

     Sounds logical. A little bit of proper upbringing never killed nobody!

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #279 : 26 марта 2020, 22:11:18 »
RELIGIOUS CLASSIFICATION

     A unit chaplain kept his files of sermons. He had them classified: "Sacred" and "Top Sacred".

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #278 : 16 марта 2020, 20:20:13 »
BETTER MATERIAL

     The commander was asked: "Why do you prefer married soldiers in your unit?"
"Well, the married men are used to take orders even if they are yelled at them."

 
.