Тонкий английский юмор

[asdfg]

Difference between a beautiful night and a horror night.

     Beautiful night is, when you hug your teddy bear and sleep.
     Horror night is, when your teddy bear hugs you back.

[DAЛ$]

[DAS]

"How far is it to the next filling station?"

"Near two miles as the crow flies."

"Well, how far is it if the damned crow has to walk and roll a flat tire?"

[DAЛ$]

[DAS]

Battered Motorist (waking up):

"WHere am I? Where am I?"

Nurse: this number 127.

Motorist: "Room or cell?"

[Ann]

   
 

"Are you feeling very ill?"asks the phisician."Let me see your tongue, please."
     "It's no use, Doctor," says the poor patient. "No tongue can tell you how bad I feel."

[DAS]

Напоминает некоторых учеников)

[DAЛ$]

Limerick

There came a countryman to Ealing,

Devoid of all delicate feeling.

When he read on the door:

"Please don't spit on the floor",

He immediately spat on the ceiling.

очень по-современному))))

[DAS]

Limerick

There came a countryman to Ealing,

Devoid of all delicate feeling.

When he read on the door:

"Please don't spit on the floor",

He immediately spat on the ceiling.

[DAS]

Искусство по прежнему в большом долгу)

[DAЛ$]

[Ann]

    An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: «If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.

     
     Clever approach!

   

[asdfg]

    An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: «If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.

[DAS]

A Practical Sailor

     A sailor was asked: "What book would you like to have with you if you found yourself on an uninhabited island after a shipreck?"
     "Probably a handbook on how to build a boat."

Really practical. Such person will survive in any circumstances.

[Ann]

A Practical Sailor

     A sailor was asked: "What book would you like to have with you if you found yourself on an uninhabited island after a shipreck?"
     "Probably a handbook on how to build a boat."