p.35 ex.13
1.Time Waster
Junior was home on leave after some time in the Army.
"Well,son,how do you like the Army?" asked his dad.
"Oh,it isn't bad," said Junior, "but I think there is too much drilling and fussing around between meals."
2.Two Choices
An Army volunteer sat down to his first meal in the mess.He surveyed his plate and asked the mess sergeant,
"Don't I get any choice?"
"Yes," was the reply. "You take it-or you leave it."
3.Reducing
The unit commander summoned Sergeant Lawrence.
"Sergeant,you're terribly overweight."
"Yes,sir."
"We have to resort to drastio reducing measures,sergeant."
"Yes,sir."
"We'll start you out slowly-skip breakfast,lunch and dinner and only then supper!"
4.Bad Broth
Two ship-wrecked cooks were washed ashore and captured by a band of hungry cannibals.The cannibal cook appraised the victims and said to his cannibal chief: "Shall I stew both cooks?"
"Better not,one is enough," said te chief. "Too many cooks spoil the broth."
1.
— Hello, are you there?
— Yes, who are you please?
— I'm Watt.
— What's your name?
— Watt's my name.
— Yes, what's your name?
— My name is John Watt.
— John what?
— Yes, are you Jones?
- I'm Knott.
— Will you tell me your name then?
— Will Knott.
— Why not?
— My name is Knott.
— Not what?
— Not Watt, Knott.
— What?
2.
-Which side of the lady should a gentleman go with?
- With the one where the showcases are located
3.
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.
"Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."
"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."