Автор Тема: Military Humour  (Прочитано 67668 раз)

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Оффлайн Ann

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Re: Military stories
« Ответ #127 : 30 ноября 2017, 22:51:56 »
Ann, correct me if I'm wrong, but I detect a slight tint of sarcasm in your words) To be frank, I believe parents ought to contribute equally to family budget . Likewise, both of them should  take part in their children's upbringing. The more common activities spouses have, the solider their family life becomes
     I accept this point of view.
     By the way, what would you say  if we change the title of the branch into "military humour"?

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Re: Military stories
« Ответ #126 : 29 ноября 2017, 10:26:09 »
     Good for him! A modern emancipated woman shouldn't ask for any money! She is supposed to be a breadwinner.

Ann, correct me if I'm wrong, but I detect a slight tint of sarcasm in your words) To be frank, I believe parents ought to contribute equally to family budget . Likewise, both of them should  take part in their children's upbringing. The more common activities spouses have, the solider their family life becomes

Оффлайн Ann

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Re: Military stories
« Ответ #125 : 29 ноября 2017, 01:20:23 »
Asking for Money

"My wife is always asking for money," complained one private to another. "Last week she wanted $200. The day before yesterday she asked me for $125. This morning she wanted $150"
"That's crazy! What does she do with all that money?"
"I don't know, I never give her any."

     Good for him! A modern emancipated woman shouldn't ask for any money! She is supposed to be a breadwinner.

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Re: Military stories
« Ответ #124 : 27 ноября 2017, 20:57:21 »
Asking for Money

"My wife is always asking for money," complained one private to another. "Last week she wanted $200. The day before yesterday she asked me for $125. This morning she wanted $150"

"That's crazy! What does she do with all that money?"

"I don't know, I never give her any."

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Re: Military stories
« Ответ #123 : 27 ноября 2017, 20:53:44 »
Funny! There is nothing one can surprise a sergeant with!

Оффлайн Ann

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Re: Military stories
« Ответ #122 : 26 ноября 2017, 00:51:37 »
No Wonder

     Two sergeants were having a rest in the shade of a tree after having a good supper with drinks. One of then remarked:"John, look, there's an elephant flying over there with long blue and red feather wings!"
     The man expected his companion to be surprised, but the latter wasn't paying the slightest attention to the fantastic phenomenon. The first sergeant exclaimed again:"Look, those elephants are flying in a formation There are about twenty of them!"
     "So what's the fuss?" remarked the second man."Their airfield must be somewhere nearby."

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Re: Military stories
« Ответ #121 : 21 ноября 2017, 22:22:30 »
Memory

1st Pvt: "My wife has the worst memory in the world."

2nd Pvt: "Forgets everything?"

1st Pvt: "No, she remembers everything!"

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Re: Military stories
« Ответ #120 : 17 ноября 2017, 23:50:45 »
What Is the Difference?

A boy asked his father, an ex-serviceman, the difference between a rifle and a machine gun.

"Well, it's like this, it's just as if I spoke and your mother spoke."

Оффлайн Ann

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Re: Military stories
« Ответ #119 : 17 ноября 2017, 23:09:02 »
             
The First Thing You Do

     Officer:"What's the first thing you do in cleaning the rifle?"
     Recruit:"Look at the number."
     Officer:"What for?"
     Recruit:"To make sure I don't clean somebody else's."

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Re: Military stories
« Ответ #118 : 12 ноября 2017, 23:56:21 »
Loading Ammo

A party of privates was loading ammon boxes on a truck. "Take it easy, boys," cautioned the sergeant in charge, "Don't drop the boxes that way. Last week a party of seven men were blown to hell when loading a truck."

"Don't worry, Sarge. It can't happen this time. There are only six men including you here."

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Re: Military stories
« Ответ #117 : 12 ноября 2017, 23:53:33 »
                               
An Examination in the Military School

Professor:"Are you able to tell me anything about the great English writers of the 17th century?"
Cadet:"They are all dead, sir."

He was absolutely right, after all!

Оффлайн Ann

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Re: Military stories
« Ответ #116 : 12 ноября 2017, 01:09:05 »
                               
An Examination in the Military School

Professor:"Are you able to tell me anything about the great English writers of the 17th century?"
Cadet:"They are all dead, sir."

Оффлайн Ann

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Re: Military stories
« Ответ #115 : 12 ноября 2017, 01:01:09 »
Unlucky Robbery

Sgt. Brown was in civilian clothes when the burglar stuck a gun in his back. Brown turned around, applied a judo grip and flund him across the alley. Then he pounced the burglar and began pummeling him. He blackened his eyes, broke his jaw, fractured his ribs and broke his arm. "Hey mister," cried the burglar - "ain't you gonna call a cop?"
     
Superb!

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Re: Military stories
« Ответ #114 : 11 ноября 2017, 00:01:31 »
Unlucky Robbery

Sgt. Brown was in civilian clothes when the burglar stuck a gun in his back. Brown turned around, applied a judo grip and flundghim across the alley. Then he pounced the burglar and began pummeling him. He blackened his eyes, broke his jaw, fractured his ribs and broke his arm. "Hey mister," cried the burglar - "ain't you gonna call a cop?"

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Re: Military stories
« Ответ #113 : 10 ноября 2017, 23:56:58 »
     Вот это сержант! Нам бы такого!

Ann, универсальный солдат!

 
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