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Тонкий английский юмор

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asdfg:
Hide-and-seek  

DAS:
    Police officer talks to a driver: Your tail light is broken, your tires must be exchanged and your bumper hangs halfway down. That will be 300 dollars.

Driver: Alright, go ahead. They want twice as much as that at the garage.

Ann:
The Ugliest Baby
      A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, “Ugh! That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”
The woman stalks off to the rear of the bus and sits down. She turns to the man sitting next to her and says, “The driver has just insulted me!”
     The man says, “You go and give him a telling off. I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

DAS:
“The liar's punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.”
― George Bernard Shaw,

DAS:
“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

Mark Twain

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