Автор Тема: Military Humour  (Прочитано 13976 раз)

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #238 : 06 Январь 2019, 12:34:55 »
     And now?
     By the way, looking at the parents of our pupils during our meetings and performances I'm coming to the conclusion that many grown up people do have it.
   


     Now I don't have it. And I can't speak for other people.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #237 : 05 Январь 2019, 23:25:07 »
I used to have stage fright in my adolescence.

     And now?
     By the way, looking at the parents of our pupils during our meetings and performances I'm coming to the conclusion that many grown up people do have it.
   

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #236 : 05 Январь 2019, 13:06:20 »
Six Hours

"It took me six hours to reach the ground after I left the plane," a parachutist boasted.

"My! What altitude did you jump at?"

"Why, 6,000 feet. But my chute got caught in a tree and I was hanging there for six hours until rescued."

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #235 : 09 Декабрь 2018, 00:34:42 »
Justified Delay

     The telephone rang in the company commander's office.
     "Sir, this is Sergeant Evans reporting. There has been a big fight going on in the bar across the street between our lads and the marines for about two hours."
     "For two hours and you are reporting it only now?"
     "Yes, sir, but at first our men were winning."
 

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #234 : 28 Ноябрь 2018, 10:03:27 »
Only Then

Two young American boys were discussing the problem of their imminent draft.

"May be we better volunteer before they take us all the same," suggested one.

"Let's toss the coin, if it stands on its edge, then we'll volunteer."

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #233 : 26 Ноябрь 2018, 23:28:44 »
The Moment of Alarm

Two crows were flying along slowly minding their own business enjoying the scenery, when all of a sudden out of the blue an F/A-18E/F Super Hornet goes screaming past, barely missing the now somersaulting, and wildly flapping crows.
"Oh my God!" exclaims one crow in surprise. "He was sure moving!"
The other crow replies: "I reckon you would be too if you had two backsides and both of them were alight!"

     It reminds me of the absurd theatre which I used to read about when I was working on my thesis.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #232 : 21 Ноябрь 2018, 10:47:53 »
Complaining

"Can it happen that my parachute does not open?" a jumping instructor was asked.

"No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening in this here unit," was the answer.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #231 : 20 Ноябрь 2018, 01:21:24 »
Three Rules of the Military Interpreter

    1. Arrange the mike so that people won't hear you.
    2. First speak, then think.
    3. Realising what you said, don't get upset.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #230 : 28 Октябрь 2018, 01:02:25 »
I used to have stage fright in my adolescence.


     Most people have it and not only in their adolescence.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #229 : 25 Октябрь 2018, 22:42:11 »
The Moment of Alarm

Two crows were flying along slowly minding their own business enjoying the scenery, when all of a sudden out of the blue an F/A-18E/F Super Hornet goes screaming past, barely missing the now somersaulting, and wildly flapping crows.

"Oh my God!" exclaims one crow in surprise. "He was sure moving!"

The other crow replies: "I reckon you would be too if you had two backsides and both of them were alight!"

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #228 : 24 Октябрь 2018, 10:49:34 »
I used to have stage fright in my adolescence.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #227 : 24 Октябрь 2018, 00:50:53 »
A Sad Story about a Military Interpreter

    "He is very good at languages. I'm sure he'll make a good military interpreter."
     "Really? The interpreter must be able to speak in public, and he has a stage fright."

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #226 : 22 Октябрь 2018, 21:35:30 »
Hasty Conclusion

"I packed my parachute myself, said the nervous student pilot, but I'm sure that when I jump out it won't open."

"In my opinion you are jumping to a hasty conclusion," replied the instuctor.

"And what must I do, if it doesn't open?"

"Oh, you just bring it back and I'll get you another one."

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #225 : 18 Октябрь 2018, 21:04:42 »
     Do you belong to this category?

     Oh no! Not me! I prefer participating to watching.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #224 : 18 Октябрь 2018, 00:52:48 »
A rather common case.. I know quite a few of such 'sportsmen'.
     Do you belong to this category?