Автор Тема: Military Humour  (Прочитано 11269 раз)

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #226 : Вчера в 21:35:30 »
Hasty Conclusion

"I packed my parachute myself, said the nervous student pilot, but I'm sure that when I jump out it won't open."

"In my opinion you are jumping to a hasty conclusion," replied the instuctor.

"And what must I do, if it doesn't open?"

"Oh, you just bring it back and I'll get you another one."

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #225 : 18 Октябрь 2018, 21:04:42 »
     Do you belong to this category?

     Oh no! Not me! I prefer participating to watching.

Оффлайн Ann

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #224 : 18 Октябрь 2018, 00:52:48 »
A rather common case.. I know quite a few of such 'sportsmen'.
     Do you belong to this category?

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #223 : 17 Октябрь 2018, 20:41:49 »
A rather common case.. I know quite a few of such 'sportsmen'.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #222 : 16 Октябрь 2018, 21:09:50 »
Sport Lover

     The platoon commander asked a soldier:"Did you go in for any sport in civvy street?"("гражданка").
     "Yes! Football, baseball, volleyball, cricket, swimming, hockey, box..."
     "Oh!",exclaimed the impressed officer. "It was rather hard for you, wasn't it?"
     "Yes, indeed it was," replied the sportsman. "It took me a lot of dough to buy tickets for all these matches."

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #221 : 23 Сентябрь 2018, 20:28:28 »
A Record

Come-to-Grief Airman: "I was trying to make a record."

Farmer: "Well, you've made it. You are the first man in these parts who climbed down a tree without having to climb it up first."

Оффлайн Ann

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #220 : 20 Сентябрь 2018, 22:52:41 »
Well-disciplined

     A sergeant was giving evidence in the court martial about some brawl in a local bar involving some men in the garrison.
     "I was in this tavern, and a fight started between the privates. Pretty soon tables and chairs were flying all over the place, guys were coming at each other with broken beer bottles and knives and smashing everything and I was just in the middle of it."
     "Why didn't you try to stop it?" he was asked by a court member.
     "I didn't want to start any real trouble, sir," replied the sergeant.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #219 : 16 Сентябрь 2018, 20:19:55 »
     After looking through a number of the "Military Humour" stories  I found the above one and can't help laughing.

    Can't help agreeing with you, Ann. Such blunders always bring the fun

Оффлайн Ann

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #218 : 15 Сентябрь 2018, 00:40:00 »
Monkey
         

Whie the CO was on leave the regimental mascot, a chimpanzee, succumbed to old age and over-indulgence and died. The adjutant, uncertain how to proceed, sent the following wire to his colonel: "Monkey dead. Shall we replace it or wait till you come back?"                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

     After looking through a number of the "Military Humour" stories I found the above one and can't help laughing.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #217 : 07 Сентябрь 2018, 06:14:17 »
     I didn't understand the humour.

Neither did I, it's British military humour.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #216 : 07 Сентябрь 2018, 00:39:09 »
A Spin

During a training dual flight the plane went into a spin. The student pilot asked his partner in horror: "Sir, what have I got to do now?"
"Oh, God, aren't you instructor?"

     I didn't understand the humour.

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #215 : 06 Сентябрь 2018, 00:33:34 »
A Spin

During a training dual flight the plane went into a spin. The student pilot asked his partner in horror: "Sir, what have I got to do now?"

"Oh, God, aren't you instructor?"

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #214 : 06 Сентябрь 2018, 00:23:27 »
The poor guy let himself down

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #213 : 05 Сентябрь 2018, 00:48:50 »
No Rival

     A soldier was stopped by an MP in the street.     
     "This place is off limits for the military personnel, soldier," the cop remarked.
     "Who says this?" the indignant man asked.
     "It's an order of General Manson!"
     "What an idiot!" commented the soldier.

     And he was immedeately taken to the Provost Marshal.
     "Sir,"reported the policeman,"he called our general commander an idiot."
     'I didn't mean our general commander, sir," exclaimed the soldier. "It's the commander of the neighboring garrison that I mean."
     "He is telling the damned lie," exclaimed the policeman. "He meant just our garrison commander. It is known to everyone that there is no greater idiot in the whole world than our garrison commander."

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Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #212 : 30 Август 2018, 10:19:46 »
     Very comforting!

Very comforting indeed!