Автор Тема: Military Humour  (Прочитано 6005 раз)

0 Пользователей и 1 Гость просматривают эту тему.

Оффлайн DAS

  • Ist Fantastisch
  • Ветеран
  • *****
  • Сообщений: 1732
  • Патриций
    • Просмотр профиля
Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #180 : 25 Апрель 2018, 19:11:24 »
Justice in the Army

During training exercises, a lieutenant was driving down a muddy back road when he came across another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.

As the lieutenant pulled alongside he asked, "Is your jeep stuck, sir?"

"No," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."

Оффлайн Ann

  • Глобальный модератор
  • Ветеран
  • *****
  • Сообщений: 562
  • Патриций
    • Просмотр профиля
Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #179 : 20 Апрель 2018, 00:01:12 »
Unclassified

     A GI home on short leave was extremely unwilling to return to his unit so he had the cheek of calling his CO (commanding officer) on the phone to tell him that illness had caused a delay in his arrival.
     "I'm sick, sir," he said on the phone, "I have laryngitis."
     "Then why aren't you whispering, Nicholson?" asked the CO.
     "Why should I?" the soldier was surprised. "It ain't no military secret."



     

Оффлайн DAS

  • Ist Fantastisch
  • Ветеран
  • *****
  • Сообщений: 1732
  • Патриций
    • Просмотр профиля
Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #178 : 08 Апрель 2018, 10:02:21 »
Camouflage

The sergeant-major shouted at the young soldier, "I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning, soldier."

The soldier replied, "Thank you very much, Sir."

Оффлайн DAS

  • Ist Fantastisch
  • Ветеран
  • *****
  • Сообщений: 1732
  • Патриций
    • Просмотр профиля
Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #177 : 05 Апрель 2018, 09:14:54 »
Disguise

A private ran to his General, sending a message from the front lines. He was in utter distress.
"Sir! We are outnumbered three to one, and..."

"Private! Get me my red shirt," he interrupted, "When I bleed in battle, I don't want the soldiers to be discouraged."

"Sir! You don't understand, they have battalions of heavy artillery, and their tanks are twice the..."

The General interrupted again, "Private! Get me my brown pants..."

Оффлайн DAS

  • Ist Fantastisch
  • Ветеран
  • *****
  • Сообщений: 1732
  • Патриций
    • Просмотр профиля
Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #176 : 05 Апрель 2018, 09:09:06 »
Now Evident

     A soldier on leave swallowed his watch when drunk  and was rushed to the doctor who fluoroscoped him and showed him the X-ray photograph. The soldier cried out: "My God! I'm fifteen minutes late to the barracks".

In any situation - never forget about your duty!

Оффлайн Ann

  • Глобальный модератор
  • Ветеран
  • *****
  • Сообщений: 562
  • Патриций
    • Просмотр профиля
Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #175 : 03 Апрель 2018, 23:45:08 »
Now Evident

     A soldier on leave swallowed his watch when drunk  and was rushed to the doctor who fluoroscoped him and showed him the X-ray photograph. The soldier cried out: "My God! I'm fifteen minutes late to the barracks".

Оффлайн DAS

  • Ist Fantastisch
  • Ветеран
  • *****
  • Сообщений: 1732
  • Патриций
    • Просмотр профиля
Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #174 : 21 Март 2018, 08:37:18 »
     What does this "baa" mean?

this is a sound produced by a little sheep

Оффлайн Ann

  • Глобальный модератор
  • Ветеран
  • *****
  • Сообщений: 562
  • Патриций
    • Просмотр профиля
Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #173 : 20 Март 2018, 23:19:41 »
     What does this "baa" mean?

Оффлайн DAS

  • Ist Fantastisch
  • Ветеран
  • *****
  • Сообщений: 1732
  • Патриций
    • Просмотр профиля
Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #172 : 20 Март 2018, 21:44:52 »
Lamb

One sailor to another:

"What happened when you asked the captain for a shore leave?"

"Well, he was like a lamb."

"What did he say?"

"Baa."


Оффлайн DAS

  • Ist Fantastisch
  • Ветеран
  • *****
  • Сообщений: 1732
  • Патриций
    • Просмотр профиля
Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #171 : 15 Март 2018, 16:10:51 »
     If you ask me it doesn't look severe to me at all. It's so very absurd and unrealistic and I certainly take it funny.

I meant the situation was severe for a poor man. But I also find it one of the funniest so far!

Оффлайн Ann

  • Глобальный модератор
  • Ветеран
  • *****
  • Сообщений: 562
  • Патриций
    • Просмотр профиля
Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #170 : 15 Март 2018, 01:26:25 »
Severe but eternal military humour!
     If you ask me it doesn't look severe to me at all. It's so very absurd and unrealistic and I certainly take it funny.

Оффлайн DAS

  • Ist Fantastisch
  • Ветеран
  • *****
  • Сообщений: 1732
  • Патриций
    • Просмотр профиля
Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #169 : 13 Март 2018, 21:58:03 »
     I am repeating my favorite one
Didn't Make Any Difference

     Two GIs were recalling the events of the past day.
     "What did the sergeant say when you answered  back?"
     "Nothing. And those two front teeth I wanted to have extracted all the same!"

Severe but eternal military humour!

Оффлайн Ann

  • Глобальный модератор
  • Ветеран
  • *****
  • Сообщений: 562
  • Патриций
    • Просмотр профиля
Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #168 : 13 Март 2018, 01:29:06 »
     I am repeating my favorite one
Didn't Make Any Difference

     Two GIs were recalling the events of the past day.
     "What did the sergeant say when you answered  back?"
     "Nothing. And those two front teeth I wanted to have extracted all the same!"

Оффлайн DAS

  • Ist Fantastisch
  • Ветеран
  • *****
  • Сообщений: 1732
  • Патриций
    • Просмотр профиля
Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #167 : 11 Март 2018, 12:51:58 »
Of course, it shouldn't - "snappy" is much better. I just wanted to see your reaction.

Ann, now I get what you mean.

Оффлайн Ann

  • Глобальный модератор
  • Ветеран
  • *****
  • Сообщений: 562
  • Патриций
    • Просмотр профиля
Re: Military Humour
« Ответ #166 : 11 Март 2018, 00:46:27 »
I do think so. But shouldn't it have been : "So am I" ?
Of course, it shouldn't - "snappy" is much better. I just wanted to see your reaction.