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Автор: DAS
« : 13 марта 2020, 00:15:32 »

Teacher: How old is your father?

Kid: He is 6 years

Teacher: How is that possible?

Kid: He became father only when I was born
Автор: DAS
« : 04 марта 2020, 17:57:39 »

Teacher: "How do you spell 'crocodile'

Student: "K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"

Teacher: "That's wrong!"

Student: "Maybe it is. But you asked how I spell it!"
Автор: DAS
« : 26 февраля 2020, 21:59:44 »

Teacher: "How do you call a person who keeps talking when nobody is listening?"

Children: "Teacher!!"
Автор: DAS
« : 06 февраля 2020, 17:40:51 »

"Thomas, what is the matter with your brother?"

"He is crying because I'm eating my cake and won't let him have any."

"Is his own cake finished?"

"Yes, and he was crying when I was eating this one, too."
Автор: DAS
« : 27 января 2020, 22:19:57 »

"I heard your sister is sick in bed Bobby, nothing serious I hope?"

"Nothing special, we were just playing a game to see who can lean the furthest out the window and she won."
Автор: DAS
« : 20 января 2020, 16:55:22 »

Mother: I wish you stopped reaching for things at the table. Haven't you got tongue?

Son: Yes, Ma, but my arm's longer.
Автор: DAS
« : 14 января 2020, 23:35:01 »

Father: (Reproving his son for being greedy): "Jimmy, you are a pig. Do you know what a pig is?"

Son: "Yes, it's a hog's little boy."
Автор: DAS
« : 07 января 2020, 21:54:24 »

Father: "You mustn't pull the cat's tail."

Son: "I'm only holding it. THe cat's pulling."
Автор: DAS
« : 18 декабря 2019, 10:39:23 »

Father: "Stork has brought you baby brother. Wanna see your baby brother?"

Son: "No, I wanna see a stork."
Автор: asdfg
« : 12 декабря 2019, 19:14:35 »

Peter: I am not going to school any more.
Dad: Why?
Peter: On Monday, the teacher said 4 and 4 is 8. On Tuesday, she said 6 and 2 is 8. Today she said 1 and 7 is 8. I’m not going back to school again until the teacher makes up her mind.
Автор: DAS
« : 06 декабря 2019, 18:24:45 »

James: Can I have a Twik?

Father: You mean Twix?

James: No, I only want one
Автор: asdfg
« : 05 декабря 2019, 12:50:27 »

- Bob, name five things that contain milk.

- Butter and cheese, ice-cream and two cows.
Автор: asdfg
« : 05 декабря 2019, 12:37:33 »

The teacher was giving a lesson to her class. She was trying to tell the pupils about all new discoveries.
"What is there today," she suddenly asked, "that wasn’t here forty years ago?"
A clever little seven-year-old boy jumped up and shouted, "Me!"
Автор: asdfg
« : 16 августа 2019, 16:26:23 »

Don't put off till tomorrow what....................you put on to go to bed.
Original: Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

There are none so blind as .................... Stevie Wonder.
Original: There are none so blind as those who will not see.

You can't teach an old dog new ..................math.
Original: You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

 
Автор: asdfg
« : 04 августа 2019, 10:48:05 »

Where is  the smoke there's — — — — pollution.
 Original: Where is the smoke there is fire.

A miss is as good as a — — — — Mr.
 Original: A miss is as good as a mile.

If you lie down with dogs, you'll — — — — stink in the morning.
Original: If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.
.