Short texts for reading

[Sergevna]

Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, And Nobody - Funny-jokes

This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

[Sergevna]

The Funny Clever Wife

There lived a Woman whose Husband had a bad habit. The man would drink a lot every day. This caused him to lose his normal senses for most of the time.

The Woman tried many times to help him get out of this habit. But all her efforts went in vain!

Every night, someone else would have to bring him back home. One such night when he was brought home, the Woman had him carried to a grave in the neighbourhood. She thought she could teach him a good lesson by frightening him and then he would stop his bad habit.

Then she dressed herself in a dark-coloured dress. She wore a mask upon her face. She waited for him to wake up.

When the Woman saw her Husband returning to his senses, she moved towards him with a serious face. Then, she gave him some food to eat and spoke loudly, “Get up and eat, it is my job to bring food for the dead.”

The Husband was very scared. He ran home at once. From that day onwards, he gave up his bad habit.

[Sergevna]

Christmas & Foolish Wife
“Christmas is approaching. You must clean the house well,” said Jack to his wife. The silly wife thought that Christmas must be a man. “Are you Christmas?” she asked all the people passing by. One wily person, who was going down the street, said that his name was Christmas. The silly wife gave him everything inside the house. When her husband came to know of this, he was very angry.

“Be careful this time. Keep the pig for Christmas,” warned Jack. The stupid woman called the man who called himself Christmas and gave him the pig. When her husband came home and asked her about the pig, she said, “But you told me to give it to Christmas!” He held his head in despair and vowed never to say anything to her.

[Sergevna]

ON SATURDAY MORNINGS
On Saturday mornings our cinema shows films for children. One such morning an old man took his grandchildren to the cinema. At the door there was the list of the prices of tickets, but he couldn't see any price for tickets for adults for Saturday mornings. The only price which was shown for that time was for children's tickets. So he asked the lady who was selling the tickets how much it was for adults.
"Adults?" she said. "No, we don't have prices for tickets for adults for our Saturday morning films. Any adult who is brave enough to go in there to see films like that, with hundreds of all those children, can go in free!"

[Sergevna]

JOHN'S HAIR
John liked to wear his hair very long. Some of his friends thought that it looked like a girl's hair. But they never made jokes about it, because John was a big strong young man, and he didn't think jokes about his hair funny.
John always went to the barber's twice a month to have his hair cut and washed. One day the barber said to him, "Oh, why don't you let me cut most of this hair off to make your head tidy? Nobody would recognize you if I did that, I'm sure!" John said nothing for a few seconds and then he said:
"Perhaps you're right. But I'm sure that nobody would recognize you either, if you did that to my hair."

[Sergevna]

MR. JONES AND MR. BROWN
Mr. Jones and Mr. Brown worked in the same office. One day Mr. Jones said to Mr. Brown, "We are going to have a small party at our house next Wednesday evening. Will you and your wife come?"
Mr. Brown said, "Thank you very much, that's very kind of you. We are free that evening, I think. But I'll telephone my wife and ask her. Perhaps she wants to go somewhere that evening."
So Mr. Brown went to the other room and telephoned. When he came back he looked very surprised. "What's the matter?" said Mr. Jones. "Did you speak to your wife?"
"No," answered Mr. Brown. "She wasn't there. My small son answered the telephone. I said to him, 'Is your mother there, David?' and he answered, 'No, she is not in the house.' 'Where is she then?' I asked. 'She's somewhere outside.' 'What's she doing?' 'She's looking for me!'"

[Sergevna]

A COTTON DRESS
One day Missis Jones went shopping. When her husband came home in the evening, she began to tell him about a beautiful cotton dress. "I saw it in the shop this morning," she said, "and..."
"And you want to buy it," said her husband. "How much does it cost?"
"Fifteen pounds."
"Fifteen pounds for a cotton dress?! That is too much!"
But every evening when Mr. Jones came back from work, his wife continued to speak only about the dress, and at last, after a week, he said, "Oh, buy the dress! Here's the money."
She was very happy. But the next evening when Mr. Jones came home and asked, "Have you got the famous dress?" - she said, "No."
"Why not?!" he said.
"Well, it was still in the window of the shop after a week, so I thought nobody else wanted this dress, so I don't want it either."

[Sergevna]

HELEN'S EYES
Helen's eyes were not very good, so she usually wore glasses. But when she was seventeen and she began to go out with a young man, she never wore her glasses when she was with him. When he came to her door to take her out, she took her glasses off, but when she came home again and he left, she put them on.
One day her mother said to her, "But, Helen, why do you never wear your glasses when you're with Jim? He takes you to beautiful places in his car but you don't see anything."
"Well, mother," said Helen, "I look prettier to Jim when I'm not wearing my glasses, and he looks better to me too."

[АЛЁНА]

To Be a Man

by R.Kipling

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourse
lf when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;
If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!

[Sergevna]

This is a short story to teach you that you can not please everyone. A man and his son were once going with their Donkey to market. As they were walking along by its side a countryman passed them and said : "You fool, what a Donkey for but to ride is upon?"

So the Man put the Boy on the Donkey and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men. One of whom said : "See that lazy youngster. He lets his father walk while he rides."

So the Man ordered his Boy to get off and got on himself. But they hadn't gone far when they passed two women. One of whom said to the other : "Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along."

Well the Man did not know what to do. But at last he took his Boy up before him on the Donkey. By this time they had come to the town and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The Man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The men said :

"Aren't you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor Donkey of yours - you and your hulking son?"
The man and Boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole, tied the Donkey's feet to it and raised the pole and the Donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met them till they came to Market Bridge when the Donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the Boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle the Donkey fell over the bridge and his fore-feet being tied together, he was drowned.

"That will teach you," said an old man who had followed them :


Moral : You Can Not Please Everyone.

[Sergevna]

There were two goats.

Over a river there was a very narrow bridge.

One day a goat was crossing this bridge.

Just at the middle of the bridge he met another goat.

There was no room for them to pass.

"Go back," said one goat to the other, "There is no room for both of us".

"Why should I go back?” said the other goat. "Better you must go back."

“You must go back”, said the first goat, "because I am stronger than you.”

"You are not stronger than I”, said the second goat.

"We will see about that", said the first goat and he put down his horns to fight.

"Stop!” said the second goat.

“If we fight, we shall both fall into the river and be drowned and instead I have a plan. I shall lie down and you may walk over me.”

Then the wise one laid down on the bridge and the other goat walked highly over him.

So they crossed the bridge comfortably and went on their ways.

[Sergevna]

One day an elephant wandered into a forest in search of friends.
He saw a monkey on a tree.
“Will you be my friend?” asked the elephant.
“You are too big. You can not swing from trees like me.”Replied the monkey,
Next, the elephant met a rabbit. He asked him to be his friends.
But the rabbit said, “You are too big to play in my burrow!”
Then the elephant met a frog.
“Will you be my friend? He asked.
“How can I?” asked the frog.
“You are too big to leap about like me.”
The elephant was upset. He met a fox next.
“Will you be my friend?” he asked the fox.
The fox said, “Sorry, sir, you are too big.”
The next day, the elephant saw all the animals in the forest running for their lives.
The elephant asked them what the matter was.
The bear replied, “There is a tiger in the forest. He’s trying to gobble us all up!”
The animals all ran away to hide.
The elephant wondered what he could do to solve everyone in the forest.
Meanwhile, the tiger kept eating up whoever he could find.
The elephant walked up to the tiger and said, “Please, Mr. Tiger, do not eat up these poor animals.”
“Mind your own business!” growled the tiger.
The elephant has a no choice but to give the tiger a hefty kick.
The frightened tiger ran for his life.
The elephant ambled back into the forest to announce the good news to everyone.
All the animals thanked the elephant.

They said, “You are just the right size to be our friend.”

[Sergevna]

Once upon a time there lived a lion in a forest. One day after a heavy meal  It was sleeping under a tree. After a while, there came a mouse and it started to play on the lion. Suddenly the lion got up with anger and looked for those who disturbed its nice sleep. Then it saw a small mouse standing trembling with fear. The lion jumped on it and started to kill it. The mouse requested the lion to forgive it. The lion felt pity and left it. The mouse ran away.

On another day, the lion was caught in a net by a hunter. The mouse came there and cut the net. Thus it escaped. There after, the mouse and the lion became friends. They lived happily in the forest afterwards.

Moral : A friend in need is a friend indeed.

[Sergevna]

Wonderful story….with POWERFUL lesson

A woman baked chapatti (roti) for members of her family and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She kept the extra chapatti on the window sill, for whosoever would take it away. Every day, a hunchback came and took away the chapatti. Instead of expressing gratitude, he muttered the following words as he went his way: “The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” This went on, day after day. Every day, the hunchback came, picked up the chapatti and uttered the words:

“The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” The woman felt irritated. “Not a word of gratitude,” she said to herself… “Everyday this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean?” One day, exasperated, she decided to do away with him. “I shall get rid of this hunchback,” she said. And what did she do? She added poison to the chapatti she prepared for him!

As she was about to keep it on the window sill, her hands trembled. “What is this I am doing?” she said. Immediately, she threw the chapatti into the fire, prepared another one and kept it on the window sill. As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the chapatti and muttered the words: “The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!”

The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the mind of the woman. Every day, as the woman placed the chapatti on the window sill, she offered a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For many months, she had no news of him.. She prayed for his safe return.

That evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find her son standing in the doorway. He had grown thin and lean. His garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak. As he saw his mother, he said, “Mom, it’s a miracle I’m here. While I was but a mile away, I was so famished that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then an old hunchback passed by. I begged of him for a morsel of food, and he was kind enough to give me a whole chapatti. As he gave it to me, he said, “This is what I eat everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your need is greater than mine!”

” As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale. She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned chapatti that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would have been eaten by her own son, and he would have lost his life!

It was then that she realized the significance of the words: “The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” Do good and Don’t ever stop doing good, even if it is not appreciated at that time. If you like this, share it with others and I bet so many lives would be touched.

[Sergevna]

Four Happy Penguins

Polly stops at a gas station to fill up.

A man who works there sees four penguins in the back seat and asks, "Why do you have four penguins in your car?"

Polly says, "I stopped at a red light and they climbed in! What should I do with them?"

The man thinks for a second and says, "Maybe you should take them to the zoo."

"That's a good idea. I'll do that," says Polly.

A few days later Polly returns to the gas station. The man sees the same four penguins in the car. But now they're wearing sunglasses!

"What's going on?" asks the man. "I thought you were taking those penguins to the zoo!"

"I did take them to the zoo!" answered Polly. "We had such a great time, that today I thought I'd take them to the beach!"