Short texts for reading

[Tessa]

An old Jewish man and a young Jewish man are traveling on the train.

The young man asks: "Excuse me, what time is it?" The old man does not answer.
"Excuse me, sir, what time is it?" The old man keeps silence.
"Sir, I'm asking you what time it  is. Why don't you answer?!"

The old man says: "Son, the next stop is the last on this route. I don't know you, so you must be a stranger. If I answer you now, I'll have to invite you to my home. You're handsome, and I have a beautiful daughter. You will both fall in love and you will want to get married. Tell me, why I would  need a son-in-law who can't even afford a watch?"

[Даша]

There was a blonde who was sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer was naturally bored, so he kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him.

The blonde was reluctant, so the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds. He told her that every time she could not answer his question, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50. The lawyer figured the blonde was so dumb, he could not lose, and the blonde thought for a few minutes and reluctantly accepted to play his game.

The lawyer fires his first question "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. The blonde then asked the lawyer "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

The lawyer's face looked extremely puzzled. He spent several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to figure out the answer. Finally, the angry and frustrated lawyer handed the blonde $50.00.

The blonde put the $50 into her purse quickly without saying a word. The lawyer was outraged at this point and asked, "Well, what is the answer?"

The blonde glanced at him with a smirk on her face and handed him a $5 bill.

[Tessa]

thank you, guys!  8) I enjoy this topic very much! 

[asdfg]

Mrs. Williams loved flowers and had a small  beautiful garden. In the summer, her roses were always the best in her street. One summer afternoon her bell rang, and when she went to the front door, she saw a small boy outside. He was about seven years old, and was holding a big bunch of beautiful roses in his hand.
"I am selling roses," he said. "Do you want any? They are quite cheap. Five pence for a big bunch. They are fresh. I picked them this afternoon."
"My boy," Mrs Williams answered, " I pick roses whenever I want, and don't pay anything for them, because I have lots in my garden.
"Oh, no, you haven't" said the small boy. "They aren't any roses in your garden - because they are here in my hand!"

[Andy]

How to write a short story
Don't be afraid of form. Try the thing that you'd be scared to do in a longer story (the second person, the first person plural, the single sentence paragraph, the single sentence story).
Like a crossword puzzle, make sure your story has a vertical and horizontal dimension, and that there are blanks in there too.
Connect the disparate. Vast and microscopic, ambiguous and excessively specific, funny and tragic, passionate and indifferent; as much as contradictions can propel a longer story, we can really feel them magnified in a short short story. The tug, the tension of poles.
Have at least one thing in there which is chosen almost solely for sound.

[Tessa]

        The solution is in your hands.

It's always that way! 

[Даша]

Keep in Step with Your Listener

         If you want to get a point across to your listener, it’s necessary to keep in step with his mind.
If we approach people or they approach us, many times their minds are running in a direction, different from that of our own.
         If you approach a man from one direction while his mind is going on an opposite direction, a clash of minds usually results. The other person will find it difficult to understand you and synchronize the speed of his mind with yours.
        The solution is in your hands. Your problem is to match the other fellow and try to figure out what he is thinking, taking into consideration his appearance, actions, looks and by all means his words. Then as you present your point of view or your problem you may hope you’ll be a success. If we fail to get in step with the listener’s mind we won’t get what we want.

[Даша]

You are Worth Half a Million

At birth you inherited half a million. Not dollars, but hours. You alone have absolute control over the investment of this half a million. You wouldn’t think of throwing ten dollar bills in the gutter and watching them being washed away. But, how about the indifferent careless waste of twenty five per cent and sometimes fifty per cent of our time, just because we have never learnt how to invest it.
The spending of your time should be handled with good common sense. If you lay your opportunity away, you’ll find it crumbled into pieces.

[Tessa]

What People Will Do and Will not Do

There are things that people will do; want to do. People will follow all habits. They will follow all slogans. They will repeat spectacular remarks as their own, because vanity is one of the cheap traits of people. They will work hard to establish superiority.
These are some of the things that people generally will not do. They will not look beyond their own self interest. Their first thought is “Where do I come in” or “Where will I gain?”
People will not accept changes willingly. It is considered that people are negative by nature. They will not fight for the issue if they can possibly fight against it.
People will not differ from the crowd, therefore the old saying “People follow like sheep” is true.
People will not accept themselves beyond the point of absolute necessity. And they will not act unless they are applauded.

***
People like to feel that they are making decisions and doing things on their own judgement. If you want to make a little fellow do what you want him to do, try to give him the impression that he is doing it on his own judgement.
Approach him in this way. “Now Mr. Borman, I have an idea I want to explain to you. In all probability you already know about it and have long ago forgotten about it. But this is the idea”. Then start to explain it. The little fellow will listen to you real well. You flattered him by first telling him that he probably has already thought about it, used it or knew about it before.
Now he will be more susceptible and you can hope that he will listen to you and will do what you want him to do.

[Tessa]

yes, we are))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[yemi]

Tessa Dear! We seem to be on the same wavelenght))))) ha ha ha ha !

[Tessa]

in this case - yes, sure)))

[yemi]

Tessa Dear! In that case the mistake is connected with the Medical Institutions, the System. But I mean a well trained SURGEON)))))) ha ha ha!

[Tessa]

Well said! But Surgeons are specially trained not to make mistakes, although they too make some slight ones, not FATAL!  Medical schools are supposed to train well qualified doctors-surgeons.
The concept is: do not be afraid of making mistakes, Making a move in life, Starting anything e.t.c!

supposed to doesn't mean they do(((

Everything that happens - is your experience, even a mistake is a lesson

[yemi]

if you marry a wrong woman or if you choose a wrong profession it's okay - it can be fixed with time...  ...but if you SURGEON! 

Well said! But Surgeons are specially trained not to make mistakes, although they too make some slight ones, not FATAL!  Medical schools are supposed to train well qualified doctors-surgeons.
The concept is: do not be afraid of making mistakes, Making a move in life, Starting anything e.t.c!